Moms on Facebook
When Facebook came out I was 16 so naturally I wouldn’t be caught dead without chipped black nail polish, broken all stars and a scowl on my face that said: “leave me the eff alone adults”.
I wholeheartedly refused to add any family however distant because then they would know what I was doing and stick their noses into everything, even though the highlight of my week was usually sneaking into Bowls Club and sneering at those who couldn’t get in…and sometimes laughing at those who took on the dreaded fence in attempt to get in (the fence usually won).
As I grew up and I realised that my parents pretty much always knew what I was getting up to and they became my friends, not the dreaded tyrants who wouldn’t let me get a Playstation I added them, along with a few family members. I won’t mention the tearful conversations over dinners of ‘Why won’t you be my friend’, ‘You don’t like me?’ ‘What are you hiding from me?’
As it turns out not only is my life less exciting than my moms, she also ‘likes’ a whole lot more than I ever thought a single human being could, Be warned though, it’s not just me mom who has been bitten by the Facebug its all of your moms.
Things moms insist on doing on Facebook:
- Moms having recently decided how to tag names in statuses or posts will tag you in EVERYTHING! I shudder to think of the day when moms discover what a hashtag is…#endofthewordasweknowit
- Send you invites to every online game ever including every online version of Farmville ever created, even the dodgy Asian looking on. Also moms love playing Dope Wars…I am afraid to ask why.
- Have a constant stream of inspirational pictures (which are pretty great I must admit) and random memes which no one can understand, even the memes aren’t sure if they are memes.
- Have the most descriptive status updates ever, usually including a whole bunck of exclamation marks….
- Use CAPS LOCK WAY TOO OFTEN> WHY ARE YOU SHOUTING AT ME?
- Moms love to comment on everything but mostly your friends status updates, Is it weird that moms now know more about our friends than we do?
- Post comments on chores that you should be doing
- Post horrible pictures of when you were in your awkward tween stage and insisted that you wear those awful Spice Girls platforms…your life will never be the same once these are up.
- Tag you in a whole lot of photos and albums you are not actually in. Usually about a puppy or something…if you don’t like this picture this puppy will DIE!
- At least one status update a hour Status update about how lucky and thankful she is
- Facebomb you, if a mom hasn’t been of Facebook for a while prepare for the proverbial Facebomb of 40 likes or comments on everything you have done over the past week.
- Sign random petitions for things that will never happen, or really shouldn’t ever happen.
I guess that’s why we #love them. Keep posting, keep liking moms!
Watch this amazing skit from SNL :damn-it-my-mom-is-on-facebook-filter