Boet, I played rugby for first team in 2004! And other stereotypes.

What seems like a million years ago the schools we went to provided a certain identity for who we were. Now I may be biased but from what I remember there were certain stereotypes about the schools in Johannesburg.

Disclaimer: Please note I don’t actually think (most) of these thing, I’m just going on stereotypes from school, so no (more) hate mail please, if you do decide to slate my opinion remember I am wittier than you and you will lose.

Parktown Girls: Sporty, over achievers with a really bad uniform who had to wear stupid name badges and march through Pretoria for Women’s Day.

Parktown Boys: Really bad at rugby, really good at throwing house parties with a certain affinity for smoking large amounts of marijuana…and more recently very creative initiations

St. Marys: Really good at everything including handjobs and having perfect hair and clothes

K.E.S: Really good at rugby…make that all sports, but thicker than a thousand bricks

St. Johns: Stuck-up with an affinity for acid, pink Polo golf shirts and holding the most awesome socials

Kingsmead: Rich trust fund babies, who didn’t really have a concept of the world around them but had a nice tuckshop and pretty good at sport.

Roedean: Those flipping uniforms…enough said.

Greenside: Really good at taking drugs, like really good!

 

As we all grew up most of these stereotypes fell away although Kinsgsmead girls are still easily spotted in a crowd by their distinct “My upper lip really smells like poo” facial expressions. Look at that another joke!

Anyways moving along like I said these stereotypes fell away and some of my closest friends were people I once thought were heroin addicts or even worse stuck-up. The schools we went to don’t really matter.

Except of course for ant man that went to an all boy’s school.

Men who went to all boys schools generally travel in packs, wear their old sports tour shirts way too much and their greatest claim to fame is playing first tem rugby in 2004, well done! No really well done what else would you have to talk about to your friends at rugby fest every year besides the really hot girl you kissed when you were in grade 10?

I really don’t understand the obsession with your school years, unless you are the author of Spud and making millions off it would you please shut up. I’m proud of the school I attended and yes of course I miss it every now and then it was easy and fun, but I sure as hell don’t identify myself as a Parktown girl and chest bump my friends every time I see them and give the evil eye to the St. Marys girl I used to play sport against.

Is it a male ego thing? Or just a jock thing? Or is it just an all boys school thing that like attending H2o and matching tracksuits I will never be able to grasp.

 

Who knows…boet!

 

 

 

 

 

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As luck would have it

I was talking to a good friend of mine on the weekend about a number of things as the conversation wound down I said with a sigh: “oh well that’s life” !

He turned to look at me clutching his ice cold Hansa that I was admittedly eyeing out and said: “No”

“No, it’s not life, I’ve been alive for 24 years and it’s not life.”

When someone breaks into our house and only steals the entire contents but no one is hurt they are not lucky and it is not part of life. As South Africans we have become accustomed to certain very harsh realities about life here. One of them is that no matter how high your fences are or how high-tech your alarm system is there is a very real chance that at any point your house could get broken into. So often family members are either beaten or raped or murdered for no real reason, so we call the people who were tied up and harassed ‘lucky’ because they were not killed in the process.

When I was growing up I thought being lucky was finding a Smartie I had dropped a month ago on the floor of my mom’s car, then as I grew older it became getting lucky which involved a older boy from K.E.S and the St John’s Valentines social. Now if I’m lucky I can have my possessions taken from me without being killed.

It’s not life we are not lucky and just plain nonsense.

By calling ourselves lucky not to be raped and shot are we not enabling in a sense? I can foresee the hate mail flooding in already; but are we not in a sense making it okay and normalising the problem. Is it ingrained in our thinking because we have been exposed to it for so long? If violent crime…or crime in general happened less in South Africa would it be dealt with more harshly would it be frowned upon more?

When Whitney Houston is on the front cover of the newspaper and shoved in the dark corners where no one really bothers to look are the stories of the kidnappings, rapes, robberies and murders; surely we have a problem?

Although being Whitney Houston is the greatest crime of all…some may argue.