My advice: stick to your shade of lipstick, pink is most definitely your colour.

Yes, I see it okay. I see the irony in my writing this post but I could not let this one go.

Few things in this world make me angry and one of them is complete ignorance. I’m sure a few of you may have seen The Christowitz Report circulating on Facebook and most likely ruining your Friday afternoon. Now I will admit when the first post came out I was slightly amused if not taken aback by the use of every swear word in the book.

Then came week two, I felt like I was watching an accident happen in slow motion and I still haven’t been able to look away. Then came the ‘I hate nature post’, I read it bemused and later discussed it with a friend of mine, both of us while reading it had felt inclined to write a blog post in reply to the rant but had denied ourselves the satisfaction. Having read this week’s report I simply could not resist.

The report claims that the point is to make people laugh “That’s the f&*king point. To the few of you who still don’t get the point of all this… maybe private school was a waste of your parents’ money.” The thing is that it’s not, perhaps it started out as funny, even I can admit that and sure parts of it are still rather humorous but where the report fails is where it dips its toes into the realm of actual opinion.

The reports uninformed rant about ‘down-the-middle-ness’ in my opinion is probably the most ridiculous thing I have ever had the misfortune of reading. A rant that stands against girls wearing pink lipstick, bad action movies and nature is standing for something? Perhaps you have a future in South African politics.

“Love some shit! Hate some shit! Make a decision and stick by it. Form an opinion and fight to defend it. Believe in something! Yank the double-sided dildo of mediocrity and indifference out of your ass and do something. Anything. It doesn’t matter if you’re right or wrong or if you fail or succeed, just do it.” Encouraging people to stand for something, anything is just plain idiotic. There was once a man who hated Jews and loved killing them, he stuck by that decision and we are all aware he fought to defend it, he sure as hell believed in it. I presume it doesn’t really matter if he was right or wrong?

Sure we are encouraged to have opinions, but these opinions simply must be informed or they are harmful or just plain annoying. Pray tell, what is the use of an opinion on ‘Mall Dawdlers’? Is that not closer to mediocrity than anything else we may encounter in this world and I’m assured that an irrelevant opinion is just as useless and indifferent as no opinion at all.

Anyone with half an education surely must be fuming at this insult to their intelligence, sure we can ignore opinions and blogs such as the aforementioned, sure entering into a discussion about it is ironic but surely that is the point?

They say that you are only writing something worthwhile if people are complaining about it. In this case they are complaining because it’s ignorant, sensationalist rubbish and that, is not worth a dime.

My advice: stick to your shade of lipstick, pink is most definitely your colour.

 

South Africa is the ‘old’ France.

More than reading the Daily Sun and Boerewors, South Africans love to complain, protest and strike.

Listen to Talk Radio 702 for a few minutes in the morning and you will here at least ten people phone in and complain about traffic lights, traffic, their elderly neighbour who has an affinity for small yapping dogs and of course an all time favourite my dear friend Julias.

Listen to 5fm and you are sure to hear some witless young woman call in and complain that the line was too long to get into Tiger Tiger or something irrelevant that annoys the rest of the country.

Listen to Highveld…well just don’t do that.

Not to downplay the problems this country has, because boy do we have so mother flipping problems; but stop all the complaining and do something. Now for the poor girl who had to stand in the line for too long and only caught the tail end of the Britney Spears power half hour, there isn’t much I can do to help you, besides perhaps advising you to take a cyanide capsule or getting better at giving large Nigerian bouncers blowjobs.

A few years ago a little thing called the French Revolution took place.  For those of you who have been living in a cave …or Rivonia where history is laughing about ‘that one time at Manhattans when you totally kissed that like totally cute guy then totally did lines in the toilet’ the French Revolution ‘totally’ ROCKED!

So there were some people who were really rich…they looked kinda like this:

No one should have hair that 'big'

That were real douche bags and kept spending the rest of the countries money.Everyone else kinda looked like this:

Sucks to be you

The 99.9% of the population got fed up with the 0.1% of pale faced idiots who were having wild parties while they starved so they decided to do this:

Never mess with a lady wearing a red hat carrying a sword

They literally ripped a building apart! Talk about power of the masses. Imagine what South Africa…which is a smidgeon bigger than pre Revolutionary France could do. Something that is evident in the partnering of COSATU and the DA against the tolling system our somewhat dim-witted government wants to enforce. If an entire country won’t pay there is nothing that can be done to enforce it.

So we have some people that look like this:

Let them eat cake...I sure do

And they are real douchebags and keep spending our money on things like this:

Okay not really, but you catch my drift?

While the majority of the country looks like this:

Please sir may I have some more...electricity, running water and other services?

I say if you complain you should be willing to storm the Bastille …or at least attempt to.Liberté, égalité, fraternité!